ibibo travel: unconditional love - Sexuality and Relationships

bloodsheen
ChemChaplin

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2,494
Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes
Is it just me or is this quite possibly the dumbest concept in the entire world. Everyone's love is conditional! If you are married there are tons of conditions. You have to:

Pay attention to your partner
Not beat them/assault them
Not fuck other people
Contribute to the household in one way or another
Not kill other people at random
Not molest the neighbors daughter

And the list goes on. In fact, I would say that if you actually practice unconditional love you are an idiot. Why should anybody deserve unconditional love? If you are a horrible person or a worthless human being, you deserve to be treated appropriately. Whoever keeps perpetuating this idea needs to be stopped

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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread

Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 604
Last seen: 14 minutes, 29 seconds

The only time I buy unconditional love is with parents and that's not every single one by a far shot.

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sadsappysucker
Stumbelina
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Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 28,959
Loc: Florin

You must be pretty fucked up if you have to tell yourself not to molest your neighbors kids nor beat, assault or kill others, let alone your partner. Sounds like you can use some love, any love, yourself.

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joe666
The ReverendToke DBK
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Registered: 09/13/01
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That's not love, that's decency.

Love is a deep emotional feeling of affection towards someone.

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Shroomerited
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Registered: 06/12/10
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Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Is it just me or is this quite possibly the dumbest concept in the entire world. Everyone's love is conditional! If you are married there are tons of conditions. You have to:
Pay attention to your partner
Not beat them/assault them
Not fuck other people
Contribute to the household in one way or another
Not kill other people at random
Not molest the neighbors daughter
And the list goes on. In fact, I would say that if you actually practice unconditional love you are an idiot. Why should anybody deserve unconditional love? If you are a horrible person or a worthless human being, you deserve to be treated appropriately. Whoever keeps perpetuating this idea needs to be stopped

Definitely agree. Agreed so much. bloodsheen
ChemChaplin

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2,494
Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes

Quote:

sadsappysucker said:
You must be pretty fucked up if you have to tell yourself not to molest your neighbors kids nor beat, assault or kill others, let alone your partner. Sounds like you can use some love, any love, yourself.

Lol, I wasn't suggesting I want to do those things at all. And this wasn't a "mommy doesn't love me thread." Its just as it is stated.

lifeiswhatyoumake
Mind Explorer
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Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1,390
Last seen: 9 hours, 19 minutes

Unconditional love is what humanity needs to work on, badly.

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Life is what you make of it.

Lynnch
Strangerer

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 2,611
Last seen: 18 hours, 58 minutes

Unconditional love doesn't mean you have to accept someone being a total dick, it means that even when they're being a dick you keep trying to help them.

AlphaFalfa
imagine

Registered: 06/16/08
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It means that you see them as products of their environment.

You can't love someone for being something bad or good, you merely prefer their company.

You can love everyone but you need to somehow accept, realize that everyone's actions, thoughts and feelings are an outcome of the way their environment has influenced that.

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AlphaFalfa
imagine

Registered: 06/16/08
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Hate isn't wrong; its a waste of time because it doesn't grasp the true source of your problems with those you hate.

Our society hates criminals FOR EXAMPLE, but in reality these people are simply not being taken care of properly and/or their needs haven't been identified properly. They may have special needs for example but appear normal, until they snap and kill everyone.

When we hate others, were not seeing the solution to our hate, we are simply living in a vile and nasty emotion that is utterly useless and unproductive.

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if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...

bloodsheen
ChemChaplin

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2,494
Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes
Ok, I must be the worst thread starter ever because my threads never seem to start the kinds of discussions I intend.

I wasn't talking about hate versus love. I agree, you shouldn't hate people, its a waste of time. But that doesn't mean you have to let somebody keep fucking up your life.

For instance, if you kid is an addict it isn't your duty to, year after year after year, put up with him stealing your money and stuff, verbally and physically assaulting your family members, and generally causing strife and heartache. You might say "I still love him/her" but in reality what you love is your perception of the person you believe they are capable of being.

If somebody is a cheater you shouldn't keep putting up with their behavior. And after 5 or 6 times catching them cheating, you are an idiot to continue to put up with it. Again, you don't truly love them, you love who you want them to be.

lifeiswhatyoumake
Mind Explorer
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Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1,390
Last seen: 9 hours, 19 minutes
Your first post in this thread was a bit "ehh."

But now we're chuggin'.

That is a tough example, the mom and drug-addict son.? You might not expect to hear what I'm gonna hear.?

In this situation, a real unconditionally loving mother would always be there for her son, drug-addict or not.? She has to show him love.? SHE HAS TO.? It's quite possibly the only way for her son to stop being an addict.? She has to show him that she really cares, but doesn't like her son's addiction.

If the son keeps stealing from his own mother for years... then I wouldn't want to find out where he goes when he dies.?

And to the cheating thing... 5/6 times???? wadafuq???? ONE TIME.? THAT'S ALL THEY HAVE.

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Life is what you make of it.

HeroMike
Curious Conceptionist
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Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 516
Loc: United Divided
Last seen: 52 minutes, 47 seconds

Quote:

[
And to the cheating thing... 5/6 times???? wadafuq???? ONE TIME.? THAT'S ALL THEY HAVE.

QFT

Really though I think he's just making an example . If he said 1 , someone would have said why not 5/6 ya feel me?

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lifeiswhatyoumake
Mind Explorer
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Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1,390
Last seen: 9 hours, 19 minutes
Ah, you are right!? Thanks for the clarification.

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Life is what you make of it.

keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread

Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 604
Last seen: 14 minutes, 29 seconds

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
For instance, if you kid is an addict it isn't your duty to, year after year after year, put up with him stealing your money and stuff, verbally and physically assaulting your family members, and generally causing strife and heartache. You might say "I still love him/her" but in reality what you love is your perception of the person you believe they are capable of being.
If somebody is a cheater you shouldn't keep putting up with their behavior. And after 5 or 6 times catching them cheating, you are an idiot to continue to put up with it. Again, you don't truly love them, you love who you want them to be.

I definitely agree with the idea of loving who you wish the person was instead of actually loving the person who is now. I think that is more often the case than not.

I do, however, believe that there are occurrences of unconditional love. Let's take that mother you're talking about. She may wish her son was the way he used to be but she could still love him. That love is unconditional -- her LIKING her son is not. As my mother used to say, "I'll always love you but I sure as hell don't like you right now."

I don't believe all parents have this type of unconditional love but I do believe some, if not most, do. I think you can still love someone if you don't like them, regardless of what they've done to you or even if you've cut them out of your life. I don't think I have the capacity for that -- not now, as I sit here typing this. Maybe it'd change if I had a child but who knows.

Lynnch
Strangerer

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 2,611
Last seen: 18 hours, 58 minutes

I think overall your point is correct, but really just indicates how rare true unconditional love is. If people didn't love the person they wish their partner was, they would break up at the first sign of a fight.
Always giving in to your addict son or always forgiving a cheater aren't examples of unconditional love, they're just examples of unhealthy love.
Unconditional love is saying 'I don't care how many trips to rehab it takes, I believe you can get better' or even 'I love you so much I think we should break up'. Nobody said love was the easy choice.

bloodsheen
ChemChaplin

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2,494
Last seen: 2 hours, 13 minutes

Quote:

Lynnch said:
Always giving in to your addict son or always forgiving a cheater aren't examples of unconditional love, they're just examples of unhealthy love.
Unconditional love is saying 'I don't care how many trips to rehab it takes, I believe you can get better' or even 'I love you so much I think we should break up'. Nobody said love was the easy choice.

Hm, but many addicts essentially guilt you into helping them get drugs. Especially when they arent illegal drugs i.e. alcoholics and pill poppers. So it comes to a point where you have to cut them off, and cutting them off is likely the same thing has kicking them out of your house.

And I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'I love you so much I think we should break up.' How is breaking up with them because they are destroying your life any different than breaking up with them because you don't love the person they are? If you've come to the conclusion they can't be helped by you, you are essentially saying you don't love who they are anymore, and if they change and become something you are willing to love, they can come back. I.e. not unconditional love

keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread

Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 604
Last seen: 14 minutes, 29 seconds

Oh, I'm not trying to imply that unconditional love means putting up or tolerating someone's addiction. You are right that if someone is doing that it becomes an unhealthy love or enabling. I'm just trying to say that a mother can completely cut her addict son out of her life but still love them, even who they became. Unconditional love exists (though rarely) but I don't believe that unconditional "liking" exists.

keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread

Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 604
Last seen: 14 minutes, 29 seconds
You can still love them even if you don't like their current actions.

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
And I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'I love you so much I think we should break up.' How is breaking up with them because they are destroying your life any different than breaking up with them because you don't love the person they are? If you've come to the conclusion they can't be helped by you, you are essentially saying you don't love who they are anymore, and if they change and become something you are willing to love, they can come back. I.e. not unconditional love

The relationship has conditions-- not the love. You can still unconditionally love the person you broke up with but the relationship isn't unconditional.

SillyMe
Trix are for kids
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Registered: 04/19/11
Posts: 129

I have two kids and I love them unconditionally. They are of my flesh - there is nothing they could do that would stop me from loving them. I can't imagine getting to a point of not liking them even. For me I think it would be more a matter of being disappointed in their behavior/choices if they did something horribly wrong but I'd still like/love them. Always.

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