Surviving Motherhood 1.0

The day has finally arrived. The baby you have been carrying for the past nine months is delivered safely in a hospital. After having read countless of materials, you embrace your new found status of motherhood with happiness, knowledge and confidence. However, you soon realise that not every situation that you face is to be found in a text book. You struggle to keep up. You begin to wonder if you would make a good mother to your child and be able to fulfil your obligations.

Every day has been a blessing since my son was born. So, I would like to share several tips with the new mothers-to-be out there. The tips are situations that I have personally faced and hopefully would be helpful to others.

Tip No. 1: Be Flexible

Be flexible. Motherhood begins with labour. Now that you have carried your child for almost nine months, it is now time for him to meet you and the world. You may have decided on the birthing process i.e. normal or caesarean delivery. You may have opted for a natural drug-free process. Whatever process that you have decided should not deter you from being flexible during delivery. Sometimes complications do occur and whatever you have decided earlier is set aside according to the doctor?s advice. Motherhood should be a guilt-free process. Always remember that the goal is to have a safe delivery for both mother and child.

Tip No. 2: Socks

Pack warm and comfortable socks in your overnighter. After delivering your child, nothing can give you a close to warm fuzzy feeling by putting on some comfortable woolly socks. A feet massage by a close family member also does the trick.

Tip No.3: Listen to Advice?

Do listen to advice from the elderly or people who have delivered before. Advice may range from post-delivery taboos to strange herbal concoctions. It is important to note that some have been practiced for centuries and comes highly recommended. Even if you consider yourself a modern new age mom and find some of the advice bordering on ludicrous, try and find middle ground. Be open-minded to such practice and if not possible, try and improvise on the advice.

Tip No. 4: Take Care of Yourself

Spend some time taking care of yourself. It is of utmost importance that you take some time off to ensure that your physical health is well taken care of. Have proper nutritious meals and get plenty of rest. Splurge on that post-delivery traditional massage. A healthy mother makes a happy mother.

Tip No. 5: Don?t Sweat the Small Stuff

Don?t sweat the small stuff. Sure your house is in a mess. Your laundry is all over the place. You cannot remember the last time you vacuumed the house. Your home is in no condition to receive visitors; at least for the moment. Nevertheless, well-wishing visitors drop by your home to visit you and your baby. They visit to share the joy of the newest extension of your family and to wish the new parents all the best in their coming endeavours. 5 to 10 years down the road, they will not remember the mess that your house was in and neither will you.?

Tip No. 6: Be Open

Be open. Do not keep your feelings all to yourself. Confide in people that you trust and value their advice. Share your insecurities and worries with them. Share also your aspirations and hope for your young one. By opening your feelings to others, you not only reduce the burden placed on your shoulders, you might also learn a thing or two besides strengthening the existing bond you share with these special individuals.?

Tip No. 7: Accept Help?

Accept help from others. Help may come from immediate family members e.g. mother, mother-in-law, siblings, relatives or even care takers. There is a saying that goes ?it takes a whole village to raise a child? and such really does hold true. The bundle of joy of yours may sometimes prove hard to manage, especially when you are alone. A frazzled mother does not benefit the baby. By accepting help from others, you not only reduce the amount of stress but also receive some extra time off to do the things that need your immediate attention.????

Tip No. 8: Steal Time?

Steal time to have more time. An addition to the family takes up a lot of energy and especially; priceless time. With all that diaper changing, feeding, expressing milk, bath time, it is no wonder where all the time went. The trick is to steal time by reducing the time you have allocated to do certain activities. For example, if you take half an hour to read the newspaper, reduce it to 20 minutes. If you take half an hour to bathe, reduce it another 20 minutes. You do not give up the activity but instead you reduce the amount of time spent so that at the end of the day, you would have accumulated some ?stolen? time for yourself.??

Tip No. 9: Don?t Give Up?

Don?t give up. It is natural for every new parent to face obstacles regarding their new born. You are not the only one. The list is endless ranging from eating, sleeping, tantrums, general wellbeing related issues, etc. Learn from the mistakes that you make. Always remember that a bad day does not last and that the next day is a brand new day altogether. Saying a prayer also helps.?

Tip No. 10: Surviving the Grandparents

?An extended family would certainly include the overjoyed gushing new grandparents. Many a times they will not hesitate to share their experiences in taking care of a child. You may agree or disagree with their opinion. Always be polite and courteous even if you differ in opinion. They share their advice only because they care for their grandchild. It may be imposing at times but always remember that both of you have the child?s wellbeing at heart. A parent can only hope that their child?s life is filled with love showered on him. Just as you recall how fond you were of your own grandparents when you were young, you would equally want the same for your child.

Conclusion:?

On a final note, surviving motherhood is no easy task. Every day is different from yesterday and there is certainly more to come tomorrow. The only way to survive motherhood is to take one day at a time. So, until the next hurdle comes along or a tooth or two turns up, hold on and enjoy the journey. Some say the reward for motherhood is endless. We will just have to wait and see.?

Written by:
How May Ling
Deputy Public Prosecutor
Appellate and Trial Division
Attorney General?s Chambers
Putrajaya

Source: http://agc-blog.agc.gov.my/?p=1270

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